Friday, September 20, 2013

Fundraising and my reality

It has sadly reached the point again, despite my best efforts, that I have to fundraise again. I hate this. I hate asking for money. I hate my life not being in my own hands. I would give anything to be able to work. Alas, I know that without doing this, I will never live to work again. That is not an over reaction. I am not being melodramatic. My doctor said last week if I can't get this together and endure treatment then that's it. This will undoubtedly kill me. 
So please, I, without exaggeration, am placing my fate in the hands of friends and strangers and hoping that somehow, together, we can pull this off. I want so badly to win this war. I promise, I will not disappoint. I have work and art and love to offer. It is bottling up inside of me, I just don't have the energy to fight for my life and also contribute. Not now anyway. 

There are two ways to give. One is to click on the GoFundMe link just below my picture on the right side of this page. The other is to click the fundraising tab above this entry. That tab has a PayPal button. Each one offers different ways to give. Each outline my financial situation. 

Just in case you want a visual of what it looks like when I am not in public, using every ounce of energy and will to not appear sick (which, by the way, takes more energy than you can ever imagine), take a look at the link to the "Under Our Skin". Please consider watching. It won many awards and was nominated for an Academy Award. Even if you don't believe everything in the film, pay attention to the patients. Every symptom you see is something I go through almost daily. Especially Mandy's symptoms. 

While I appreciate the compliments of how good I look, I am still very, very ill. And you see me with a ton of make up on. I know how to make myself look not sick, but when I go out, I have to prep my body for days. (God, I wish that was hyperbole.) And I am stuck on the bed, couch, or floor, depending on where I land, for several more days sometimes a whole week. 

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