Thursday, June 20, 2013

Please help me

I am still very overwhelmed. Pain, pain, pain, and need for more funding has me incredibly stressed. 

All week I have pondered ideas for this post. I fear that I am too stressed about my circumstances to be anything near cheerful or hopeful.

My physical pain has grown. Sometime next week I will be having surgery; the date/time will be set once all my doctors have discussed the issues my body has and an OR opens up. Nothing too serious, but my gallbladder and possibly my appendix will be coming out. That should really help with the daily pain. 

However, that should only relieve my abdominal pain. I will still have to push through the skeletal, muscle, and connective tissue pain. We shall see if it helps in the way of putting down food and meds and keeping them there. 

Pretty much my days this month have consisted of working my butt off to get the care I need. This amount of work actually makes me sicker, but without it then I don't see a healthy future. I FINALLY got my sauna. I will write more on that later, but for now, I will just say that I don't think I would be doing nearly as well as I am without it. Which is insane, because I am so not doing well. Daily, I feel like I might lose this fight or sometimes I feel I have already lost and it is just a matter of time until it actually kills me. Part of this is the never ending excruciating pain. It has made me angry and sad and desperate, with a very very short fuse. 

I finally have nurses coming 3 times a week to check on vitals and do injections. That took a month to get sorted. I *think* I have got my meds to the lowest possible price, but that being said, I dropped 300 bucks this week and still have more to buy. If you feel comfortable, please check out the Fundraiser tab at the top of the page or check out the widget for the GoFundMe site. The tab is connected to Paypal, the site is WePay. That way you have a choice of whichever one you're most comfortable with using. 

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