Sunday, June 9, 2013

Overwhelmed

There are so many happenings currently. It is definitely enough to exhaust a healthy person. Are you ready?

I got all the Rx's figured out. Because I am out of work and too young to qualify for a sustainable 'income' for SSDI, I think I fall somewhere around 300% below the poverty line. Yup. There is an eye opener, yeah? I qualified for low or no cost to me Rx medicine for most of my scripts. There are some that aren't in the assistance programs that I still have to pay for and of course the supplements to help keep my immune system going and my insides functioning aren't covered. This process has been wildly stressful. It took from the end of April and is still not completely finished. 

My friend is doing a Pampered Chef fundraiser to help pay for the meds. If you go here, and order. 25% of the sales will go directly to paying for my meds. This ends 6/12. So head over there now! :)

I started treatment (for real this time: co-infections before Lyme). Mepron is first. This is an anti-malarial. Babisia is essentially malaria, but it is in North America. And it is a bitch. Once I can handle Mepron twice a day, then I add Zithromax. I will continue until I am up to all the meds needed. But for now, I really need to focus on handling the Mepron. It looks like thick yellow paint that is almost at the end of its usable life. I used to do a fair amount of scenic painting. New paint is more.... the word escapes me... When a paint is about to go bad it gets almost chunky and 'paint boogers' start to form in the can. That is kind of what this med looks like, though mostly chucky; it is still a liquid and very yellow.

It is gross and I have to take it with fat so that it will be absorbed by my body. 
It also makes me hate just about everything in my life. After my first 2 days on it, I got horribly mean and lost all patience for anything. Total rage. Doc wanted me to cut back so I went to night only. I figured if I raged in my sleep, then only my dreams would suffer. Today I started with it in the morning. Hopefully, I will be able to handle it this way. I have been trying very hard to remain calm, but I fear I am failing miserably. I feel like a sick and tired toddler who only wants gentle attention but doesn't know it and is throwing a temper tantrum and won't calm down enough to get what she needs. 


Things that I should accept gracefully, but while I am grateful and say thanks (and am truly thankful), I am so angered that I actually need the help that it is hard to internally accept: 
  • I got my sauna so I can really really begin detoxing. 
  • People from church came over to clean my apartment. 
  • Someone set up Meal Baby for me. 
  • I am set up with Home Hospice care so a nurse will come to my home to help dispense meds and do my injections. (I shake too much sometimes and am worried I will harm myself at some point trying to inject on my own, especially because I don't have a picc line.) 
  • I should be getting a fitted wheelchair this summer! It will be midnight purple, because EMAW!
There are so many other things that I need to take care of before I can really just focus on my healing. I am to have surgery soon, the date to be determined. More info on that next week. 
I just need to wrap up some things with Medicaid paperwork and SSI and other annoying bureaucratic mazes they put up to make sure that the truly sick can't get well soon enough and a well person can navigate easily enough to cheat the system. Though on a positive note, I am getting all the Medicaid help without limit only because of ObamaCare. So right here is one life that law has, and will continue to save. Please, whatever your politics, try to appreciate that. And try to watch yourself when speaking ill of any or everyone on welfare. Without it, I, and many of the people I have come to know, would never be able to return to society as useful members. 



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