Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Stream of Consciousness

My brain is right on the edge of being able to function and just being useless much. Join me if you please, on a trip down the stream of my consciousness. And if not, feel free to come back tomorrow. :)

It is raining. I love it. I want to sit outside, but I think it's too cold. This apartment is a mess. Between Sam getting all of his taxes together on his first day off in months, which also happened to be tax day, and he still had to work that evening, and me trying to keep all the Medicaid/Food Stamp stuff in order and my filing cabinet being in the garage. I wish I could have it. I feel so lost and unorganized without it. But we didn't know how long I would be living her so it stayed on the ground level with all my files and loved prompt books. 
If I take a nap with my head on the dining room table will I wake up in more pain? It reminds me of school. Trying not to pass out during lessons and hoping the professor didn't think me uninterested. Oh man. I wish I could go back to school. I miss homework. Yup. I do. Does that make me sick? I mean like not Lyme crazy, but real healthy person crazy. All I want to do is get well enough to go to grad school so I can be a kick ass stage manager. Ok, what do I need to do today to make sure that happens? uh.... meds? 49 min until the next dose. I so want to live without clutter in my life. This mess is stressing me out. I should eat. Doc said to gain fat. But I supposed I should wait til the dose to eat. Don't want to waste the force feeding session.

The meds to keep me from tremoring are really helping. It's so nice. I haven't punched myself in the face in my sleep since...2 days ago for a while. 

I miss my label maker and filing cabinet. I am such a nerd. I wish I had a show to do. I would be all over those problem lists and plots. 

Well, I am going to spend the next 43 minutes waiting for lunch by calling a doctor's billing office and disputing incorrect bills. Then maybe I will rest before I pass out and have tremors. I hope you all are having a happy Wednesday... It is Wednesday right?

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