Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Herx has begun

I have been meaning to write, but haven't been able to type. Thank goodness for the red squiggly lines that offer correct spelling. I had a "good" day this past Sunday. I actually was able to leave the house and have some fun. No cane or wheelchair. Though, I did pay for it when I got home. I wasn't able to sleep at all going into Monday. Only after seeing the sun shine through my curtains, did my body finally end it's hold on my insomnia.
Monday consisted of staying in bed trying to fall back to sleep whenever I woke up. Determined to have a pleasant evening of Monday Night Football, I popped some frozen, Lymie friendly soup in the microwave and after catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror (my eyes look more like the sockets in which they painfully lie and my hair looked like I had spent 20 hours in bed) I took a quick shower. I even got dressed in real, it's-ok-to-be-seen-in-public-wearing-these, clothes and sat down with my dinner in front of MNF ate my soup and promptly crawled back in bed. By the time one game of the double header was done, I had mustered enough energy to put my pjs back on.

I have mentioned before how Lyme not only is a hideous thief from those it lives in, but it steals from those around the infected. My best friend and roommate has been suffering as much as me, just not physically. We had a very full and borderline Lyme rage filled "discussion" regarding these problems. And as usual, it ended with me passed out and thinking it was a different time and year. Last night however was the furthest back I had traveled in my mind. I though I was still living in the dorm in Manhattan. I really wanted ice cream (another Lymie no-no). I really really thought I could walk across the parking lot to the Van Zile store and get a pint. Yet, upset with my Lyme and (most likely hurt by my now forgotten words) my friend kept me inside and safe.

I woke up with a migraine, barely able to hold up my body. I reached for my laptop and couldn't hold it. After an hour I was able to sit up and begin writing. Somehow I managed to get the tub running. I expect to spend several hours in it today detoxing. I need it to help. The leg pain is horrendous. The only way to stay in the tub and not pass out is to set up my laptop on the shower chair outside my tub and watch Netflix or Hulu. I actually remembered in time to stop filling the tub. No flooding in here today!

Despite the pain and other symptoms, I feel that I am doing my best at staying mentally strong and am trying to enjoy my life. Don't get me wrong, I am sooooo ready for the end of the bad health, but what's the point of fighting for your life if you don't get to have some fun and enjoy it now?

Hopefully, I will be able to update after the bath.

Oh, and a special thank you to those people who have been keeping me alive!

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